Category: Ruminations

Baby edition Why does my seven-month-old son have more clothes than I do? Why does he look like Winston Churchill? Why do I sterilize his bottles when he’s going to lick my shoe anyway? Why do people point at him … Continue reading →

Why are today’s youth such wusses?  Consider their horror movies.  When I was a kid horror movies were about actual monsters: Frankenstein, Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Blob, the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.  Today’s kids are petrified of everyday stuff … Continue reading →

Do you know what the most insincere “God bless you” you’ll ever hear is?  The one that comes from a panhandler you just turned down. “Hey, man, spare some change?” “Sorry.” “God bless you.” Don’t you love it when you … Continue reading →

Do you ever look at your cupboards and freezer and wonder how long you could survive by just eating what you have in the house?  Could I last for three weeks?  Three months?  I don’t know.  And what would be … Continue reading →

Do you ever drop your business card in those restaurant fishbowls to try to win a free lunch? If so, watch out. Because I like to reach in and swipe a handful. Then I take them with me to nightclubs. … Continue reading →